New laptop. Sore from working out, and I don't feel like doing anything tonight, so I may just take it easy.

Things are calm. My Noah is incredible and soothing and makes everything a little bit better. I'm kind of... happy.

Video: How to Disappear

I can't sleep for the noise.

The whiplash,

volumes of pregnant phrases

and my thoughts that tear in such separate directions

And so it is that I'll leave you

with the ticking of your sterile heart for company.

With the ice from your tongue for water,

and the roar of blood in your lonely hands.

And so it is that I'll leave you,

when you turn a shoulder my way

with the shadows of a great eclipse.

Been spending a lot of time and thoughts at the beach. My face has gotten pale and thin, and my limbs revert to their teenage years; awkward and tangling, knobby. Funny. Funny limbs, funny face, funny life. I'm making breakfast and choking down the feeling that I might be stuck here forever.

I'm exhausted. I want to sleep all the time.

A video I made with and for one of my favorite souls

Found a twin heart, on a string

waiting, wanting, wishing

I hope that you can grasp

this kind of loneliness

that kills, the sort of chills

it rattles through my chest

found a twin heart, on a string

waiting wanting, wishing

for an open book, a second look

a "darling, it's alright"

and look at us, through all the fuss

two ships are we

just passing in the night

I'm angry.

I'm angry at myself for being angry. I'm frustrated with things that don't make any sense, and things that do. I hate things that I love and love things that I hate. I'm falling apart and I have no idea why. Especially since the boy is in town and he makes everything a little bit lighter and brighter.

Maybe I'm just tired, cranky and in need of sleep...

...and a complete life makeover.

Pretty thing, hard as nails

open heart, heads or tails

I wish only that I could love you right

little heart, little thing

tangled up and choking

hanging by a string, I'll love you right

lips and eyes, and all goodbyes

poor baby, sing you to sleep

sweep around inside you

give me little parts to keep

I only wish that I might love you right

sweetheart, pet names

hard life, fast games

oh twin sinner, we're going down

heavy is the crown.

Heavy is the crown.

Heavy is the crown.

Heavy is the crown.